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Three Keys to Good Relationships

 STABILITY The ability to have a safe, non-threatening and non­destructive relationship. Positive attitudes necessary to develop stability are humility and respect. 

  SECURITY The ability to have a committed, reliable, and responsible relationship that grows love and trust. In order to achieve security the couple must understand responsible giving and receiving, managing money, responsible parenting, deal with gender issues, and deal with sexual issues. Positive attitudes necessary to develop security are responsibility and reliability. 

  SINCERITY The ability to learn about yourself and achieve personal growth in the context of the marital relationship. In order to achieve sincerity the couple must focus on honestly evaluating one's growth potential, seek to fulfill goals and dreams, and be open and positive about personal changes necessary. Positive attitudes necessary to develop sincerity are sacrifice and teachability.   

 7 Ways to Improve Your Relationship  (Shumway, 1998;  Robinson, 1981) ©
  1. Salutary Recognition – saying “hi” to your partner and greeting them with a hug & kiss or a pat
  2. Small Talk – talking about what your partner wants to talk about, and not discussing anything potentially argumentative or stressful
  3. Ego-Building Comments – finding ways to build up your partner’s ego or self-esteem with genuine feedback
  4. Identity –identifying positive ways that you are unique or special as a couple
  5. Exciting Activities – fun stuff—doesn’t have to cost money (e.g., taking a walk at sunset, meeting during the day for a cup of coffee, going on a picnic)
  6. Developing and Expanding Memories – looking at old pictures and watching old videos, talking about funny times, reliving old vacations
  7. Consequences and Feedback – letting your partner experience the consequences of his/her actions and providing honest feedback about how his/her behavior (both positive and negative) affects you or others
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